I think I have turned a corner. Since getting back in gear, I am back down to a size 12, sometimes a 14 depending on the cut of the pants. I can see some great definition in my arms, shoulders and legs. The scale says different, but I know not to pay too much attention to that thing!
I have been really good about working out. Three days of cardio and strength training per week. I have also added incline intervals that have help tone my hips, thighs and butt.
I am headed to the Jersey shore on Saturday for vacation. I am feeling OK about wearing a bathing suit. I found a nice one at Land's End, which is rather flattering. The top has a V-neck and a cross back, so as not to allow any wardrobe malfunctions. I also got a swim mini which I absolutely love. It has a nice A line which is flattering for the hips.
I have not always felt comfortable in a bathing suit. Even in my ultra skinny days, I felt awkward. I guess it's that whole distorted body image thing. I would literally stress myself out over going out in public, even when my husband would tell me that I look fine. I would think that people were laughing at me or talking about me. Or, I would see other women looking fab in a bikini and wonder why in the hell can't I look like that????
The light bulb moment came when I was in Florida back in April. It is pretty arrogant of me to think that people have nothing better to do than to talk about how I look in a bathing suit. And even if someone was mocking me out, they are assholes that have issues far beyond me. And as far as looking like someone else, well, that may or may not happen. So, I better just love what I have now. Besides, that person in the bikini is probably having distorted thoughts too.
So, I decided to get over myself.
And guess what? I ended up having a great time.
The truth is, I could spend every waking hour criticizing what we don't have instead of embracing what we do. When I see those ultra skinny girls, I think "Sure, they are skinny, but I have awesomely toned arms and shoulders that make me look strong." "I don't need a push up bra because me pectoral muscles are strong and keep the girls up!" "Yeah, I got some trouble spots, but who doesn't?" I am working hard and getting closer to where I want to be."
Now, I know there will be days when I don't want to follow that mantra. I am only human. But, I hope that the more I tell myself the positive, the negative will be less.
Trying to balance academic life with a healthy lifestyle.
2 comments:
What a positive statement Seeking! Congrats on overcoming that hump about your distorted body image. You've spun it to your advantage and it sounds great to me. If only we could all think so positive about ourselves. *smile*
Congrats on keeping up your workouts and seeing great progress.
Girl, you just need me around. I'm large enough these days to make you all look good! Comes from the fact that i do beer and pizza to destress after a dissertation day!
Post a Comment