Habits & Results

My left knee still hurts. What's this all about? I'm 38. I can still bend over and lay my hands flat on the floor. Long arms and short legs help. I've always been limber.

But, I'm out of shape. Just plain, disuse. The past couple years, I've sat around too much, mostly staring at my computer screen, hoping it will give me results, meaning, something. It started with writing the dissertation I'd guess.

You get into habits, which are difficult to break. I remember my father was always overweight, at times obese. He topped 300 lbs at his highest. He was not a big man. About 5'8" at his slenderest, though his height sagged as his weight gained. My brothers and I tried unsuccessfully to encourage him to diet, to exercise. Habits.

And here I am. My dad once wrote a poem about looking in the mirror at his father's face, but cutting himself while shaving. We are not destined to become our parents. But they do at times stare us in the mirror. I realize if I don't change my habits now, or regain some of my youthful vigor, my physical activity, I may watch my feet disappear over time. And the pain in my knee will only grow.

I understand that exercise and stretching are the essential ingredients. Nothing too complicated. Nothing unachievable. I've been stretching more, just about every day, several times a day, when I think of it. Partly, I'm just impatient. I want results.

When I'm cooking, results come mostly in under an hour. And I am satisfied. When I garden, sometimes it takes much longer. But pruning is good. Quick results. Weeding too. Tilling the soil, exposes a satisying brown, sometimes the steam of living organisms at work, the scent is released. You wait for the plants, but a few days, a week or two, and the sprouts emerge. Amazing. Glorious. Beautiful. Release.

Patience and perseverance, as in all things. Stretching, finding ways to add exercise and physical activity into every day. This will come too.