Greetings!

Hello there! I've been reading and lurking for a while. Getting going and sticking to something for more than a day or two seems one of my biggset problems lately so I'm hoping that a little comraderie and public accountability will help.

A little about me? I'm in my early 30s. I teach labs in a natural science field. I'm also working as a research assistant. Last year I did a lot of work in the field which kept me moving at least a little but this year I have been spending most of my time processing data. This translates as long hours sitting on my behind. I also tend to get over absorbed in this kind of work and when I do this I neglect myself pretty badly. Neglect for me involves staying up too late, totally forgetting about my appearance, avoiding exercise in favour of more sedentary work followed by exhausted "vegging" and skipping meals but making up for it later with late night junk-fests. Over the last five years I've gained about 80 pounds. Worse still, I've managed to lose up to 20 or 30 pounds of that twice and 10 pounds of it more times than I can count. I know that yo-yoing is worse than not losing at all but I can't seem to help it and permanent lifesyle change remains elusive.

Why do I want to lose weight? I'm about 85 pounds over-weight. There are three main reasons this needs to change. First there is my general health. I'm not as young as I used to be and huffing and puffing my way up stairs isn't helping me feel any better about that. I worry about blood pressure and heart disease and I have asthma that I know would all but vanish if I lost the weight. Second, I will be starting a PhD in the spring. The field component of my research will be physically demanding and I will not be able to do my best work or enjoy myself while I'm doing it if I don't get in shape. I've "made do" in the field for the last 3 years as a "fat chick" and it is not too much fun. Third, I spend way too much of my energy thinking about my weight, feeling bad about my weight, making excuses for my weight etc. I think I also tend to flip that around and use my weight as an excuse sometimes. Basically it is always there in the back of my mind that if people judge me or if I fail that it is what I expected from myself given my
weight problem. I guess then I don't have to address or think about my other short-comings. In a way dealing with the weight is easier. At the very least it is what I'm used to (I've only really been "fit" for about a 2 year stretch that ended 5 years ago and I was never really used to that). As one might suspect from this kind of history, I'm an emotional eater. I eat to celebrate. I eat when I'm sad, frustrated, angry or bored. I eat socially. I eat when I'm lonely. My partner is the same way and we certainly enable each other.

To keep this post a reasonable length I'll save some more of the details about me and food and me and exercise for later posts. My goals? My friend just challenged me to run a local 5k race at the end of October and I accepted. She is fit, I am not. I have a running/walking schedule that will help me get ready for that. My goal there is to finish and to run as much of the 5k as possible. Given my history of false starts, however, I really need to take this one day at time until a healthy lifestyle becomes more of a habit. Tomorrow I will avoid sugar and eat home prepared food with lots of fresh fruit and veggies. (Sugary snacks and eating out are enormous problems of mine and I realize that conquering just these elephants would makes a world of difference, but more on this later.) I'll also get to the gym after work and start my training for the run.

Until later, nice to meet you all!

Tag: Goals