Today was sort of a "face reality" day; I've been edging toward it all week, trying to avoid the truth of the situation but knowing I'd have to sooner or later. If I'm going to admit this to myself, I should make myself admit it to you, too: I don't take care of myself.
There. I know it; now I've said it. I don't eat well; I don't exercise; I don't do my back exercises every night. I thought today, what am I trying to do to myself? Why, when I know better, do I continue to make bad choices? Yesterday, just as one example, this is what I had to eat all day: bowl of cheerios, cheese and crackers, slice of apple pie, three martinis, half a box of triscuits, ice cream. Such health! I cannot keep doing this. Regardless of the body image or the pant size or the avoidance of the mirror, I'm too old to think this isn't having some effect on me.
Today, I got up and went for a long walk, strenuous enough to sweat profusely. I came back and made a quiche. For lunch, a large slice of the quiche and a small can of mandarin oranges. Much better.
I walked two other times this week and I've been taking the stairs as often as possible. Since I have a fourth floor office and usually end up on the third or fourth floor of the parking garage, it adds up. I've been eating garbage, though, absolutely nothing healthy all week. Ick.
I don't have any resolutions and I'm not making any promises. Yet. I just know that something's gotta give in this lifestyle of mine and I would prefer that it not be my long-term health. It's time I faced up to a simple fact: I don't take care of myself and it's time to start making some changes about that.
Tag: accountability
Trying to balance academic life with a healthy lifestyle.
4 comments:
i totally understand.
one thing i have a problem with is that i have one or two drinks a night. i always think "red wine is good for your heart" or "this will help me relax and that's important too". but i think i'm also pretending that the calories in wine or martinis (yum!) don't count. if only!
maybe just one small change at a time? i definitely can reduce the amount of crap i eat if i don't keep it around. that goes for alcohol too. that's why i don't stock up - too tempting. now it's time to stop the insta-replinishing and go for a few days with no wine or cocktail stuff in the house. probably wouldn't kill me.
Facing the truth is hard, but you will be better for it.
Change is also tough. Our first instinct is to rebel. Try choosing one thing to change for the week. For example, decide that you are going to exercise three times this week, not matter what. Make that change for at least two weeks, which is enough to make it into a habit. Then find something else that you would like to change.
Over time, you will se a difference. Remember, this is a lifestyle change, and that takes time.
oh my, I am so with you on this. My stomach has been hurting for the past two days, and I think I have to admit to myself it's because of how I've been eating since Sheepish left town: Lunches at work had been one bean burrito from Taco Bell for a couple of days in a row. Thursday night's dinner and Friday's lunch and dinner were the Chinese take out I brought home on Thursday night split into three portions (the only consolation here is that I didn't eat it all at once). Yesterday's dinner and today's lunch were a Crispani from Panera (cheesy fat goodness). I don't remember what I had for lunch yesterday... oh! This is awesome: Nachos at the movie theater. Aren't you ill just reading all of that? *sigh*
Crap, dude.
I took a walk yesterday, but I am too depressed today to get out and get going.
My health is totally down the tubes right now. I'm saying I relate.
I can't even set my sights on whole days any more. Every hour I get through without falling off the healthy wagon is reason for being satisfied these days. I'm hoping that it won't be too much longer before those hours add up to days.
Also, I am still determined to remember that every day is a fresh start. That's been helping me get to the afternoon without caving.
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