I don’t have a ton of time to write this weekend, but I wanted to introduce myself and what I hope this blog will do for me as I return to school for a PhD. The long and the short is I am 5’1” on a good day with small bone structure and a pear shaped body. Right now, I weight about 135 lbs. I know for most people, that probably sounds tiny but it is a BMI of 25.5, or just over the overweight line. For the first time in my life, not only do I carry the weight in my butt and thighs, but in my stomach and arms. Additionally, last fall, I realized I felt out of shape… I couldn’t do much of anything without being out of breath. Not good.
I love food and I hate traditional exercise. I do love ballet class and participate as often as I can. Ballet also gave me one of the hardest battles of my life: an eating disorder I’ve struggled with in the past. While it has been under control physically for the most part for over 5 years, emotionally most never recover. I’d like to explore this issue a little bit more as I finally feel mature enough to be somewhat honest about it. For the moment, let me just say it makes it awfully hard to diet without slipping into terrible habits particularly in times of stress which the next 4 years promise to be. Other challenges on the diet/exercising front include having reconstructive knee surgery at the age of 21. Just as my metabolism was slowing down anyways, I was unable to do any of the exercises I had come to love. It took me years to recover and the injury still precludes a long list of exercise.
My other somewhat unique hang-up that I would like to explore is watching my (older by about 7 years) spouse go through an amazing transformation as he lost all of his dissertation weight and more 2 years ago and how it has impacted my confidence over the years.
So what do I do right? Well, I am a good cook when I do cook. Husband is also a healthy cook now. I ride 2 miles to work every day on my bicycle. And, I finally woke up about 2 years ago and realized I deserve to look decent despite the shape of my body. I am very good about keeping clothes that fit in my closet and not torturing myself in that realm.
As I move across the country without my husband (he will be keeping his academic job here in the Midwest), I hope this support group will help me bridge the gap between old and new habits. In the long run, I’d like to lose 20 pounds in the next year to put myself firmly in normal weight area of things. I’d like to establish a healthy exercise routine in my new state. I’d like to have somewhere where I can be held accountable and supported in my eating choices as I relearn how to live on my own and cook for 1 instead of 2. I feel like I'm on the line right now... shape up and at least maintain a reasonably healthy lifestyle or do nothing and find myself in a very unhealthy spot 4 years from now. Please help me choose the former!
The short term goals for this week? Cut the soda completely.
Trying to balance academic life with a healthy lifestyle.
5 comments:
I am your size and your weight, so I am with you! I also took ballet for many years and prefer those exercises to weights because I prefer the long, toned look of a dancer's body to defined muscles. Alas, it has been too many years since I took classes. I find it very hard to do anything, really, that involves driving somewhere. So I got an elliptical that I rarely use and have learned to enjoy the peace I get from a brisk early morning walk.
Unlike you, I am a terrible cook. Also, although I enjoy a great many kinds of fruit, I am not fond of almost any vegetables at all. However. I came up with a very simple dish that tastes even better after it sits overnight in its own juices. So you can make a big pot of this, as I do, and eat it a few times during the week.
I've eaten this in a big bowl by itself or made with chicken or served either way over noodles. I enjoy them all. You may change the proportions as you see fit. The ingredients listed here will fill a large dutch oven at first, then will cook down to half as much.
2 yellow squash
6 zucchini
8 tomatoes
1 pound of chicken (optional)
1/2 bottle of sesame oil
Salt and Pepper to taste
Cut everything into chunks and throw in a pot. Add salt, pepper and sesame oil, then toss to make sure everything gets covered. Add more salt and pepper and toss again. Especially if you leave out the chicken, you want to make sure everything is seasoned.
Cook on medium high - uncovered if you like your vegetables al dente and covered for a softer texture. Stir every ten minutes or so until everything is cooked through - usually an hour on my gas stove, but it could vary. The tomatoes will get stirred almost into pulp and between that, the sesame oil and the water from the veggies, there is a nice amount of liquid to pour over rice or noodles if you wish. Otherwise it's kind of like a nice thick soup.
Best of luck.
Rebecca
DRD - I know what it's like to worry about old habits in times of stress. I really like the idea of small goals (don't think mine were that small actually, maybe that's why I'm not doing so well!). The little goals are easier to acheive and also less of a letdown if you don't acheive them.
I drink sparkling water instead of soda - I found that I liked the bubbles more than the sugar. To get there though, I started drinking half regular/half diet coke and worked my way to all diet. I really don't like diet coke. Then I just switched to soda water + lime. Yum, and easy to get in a bar if you're not drinking for one reason or another....
I'm wishing you all the best as you move apart from your spouse. Long distance relationships can be hard! At least you know when it will be over, approximately.
Thanks for writing your post.
DRD- I'm glad you're here. It sounds to me as if you're doing more/ better than I am, and that's my sliding scale for how well you're doing. keep it up!
how about yoga? I am the least flexible person on the planet, but I find yoga to be helpful on a number of levels, and it seems to me that a dancer would get even more out of it (it helps with the grad school free-floating anxiety, especially). It's easier for me to exercise if I know there are people waiting for me (as in a class) but that's another dime-a-dozen DVD form of exercise.
I like the carbonated fruit water, I think it's a little softer than sparkling water. Most grocery stores out here have a generic brand, they have no calories and use Splenda, which I haven't had a reaction to yet. I can't seem to handle Nutrasweet.
Okay. Thanks for the intro. Good luck!
I just sent an email to see if I can join as a commentator.
I have also struggled with an eating disorder and a chronic illness that has caused me to gain a significant amount of weight because of the medication I have taken. It is a constant struggle not to fall back into destructive habits.
I have found that exercise helps keep me somewhat sane. But the slow progress of losing the weight is frustrating. I could go on, but that might be a topic for a future post.
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