I have not posted much about my workout progress. Actually, it has been going really well. I am hitting the gym three days a week with Husband. I am also taking the Boy for walks every day, that is if the weather cooperates.
People have notices a difference in my appearance. A few have complimented me on how developed my legs, arms and shoulders are and how I look thinner. It's kind of hard for me to accept positive comments about my appearance. I have this distorted view of myself which stems from my adolescence. Even though I was quite thin in those days, I was told I was fat. So, I constantly have struggled with what is real and what is just a product of the voices in my head.
It's funny because when I look at pictures of myself in my teens, 20's and early 30's. I think "How could I be so wrong. When I look at my teens and early 20's, it is clear that I was way too thin. (I was anorexic at the time) The pics of my late 20's and early 30's show a fit girl who was neither too thin or fat at all. I was just right. But even then, I just couldn't see it.
So, why is it so hard for me to see that I look fine at 40? Sure, I have some trouble spots...who doesn't. I have to remember that I have been battling a major illness that has resulted in some weight gain. I also have to remember about the body changes that happen in your 30's and 40's. I need to focus on how I feel, and if I look better, then that's a bonus.
But, it's so hard to quiet the voices in my head. I wish I could see what everyone else does.
Trying to balance academic life with a healthy lifestyle.
1 comment:
Please let us know when you get this one figured out. It's a constant issue for me too. Does it help to read books? Do affirmations? I already never watch TV or read certain kinds of magazines, but that's not enough. I'm 40 also - when will this end?
It seems like recognizing that the voices in your head are objectively wrong is a good first step.
Post a Comment