a new leaf

i'm surprised there wasn't more posting here about thanksgiving and how difficult holidays in general are for those of us who want to eat healthily and stay fit. it's because i've totally stopped updating the categories here, isn't it? (you can tell me, i won't get mad!) um, that being said, if i didn't do it when i was totally jobless and had nothing better to do - i am unsure whether i will do it now that i actually have a real job. we'll see. if anyone else feels passionately about categories and wants to a) update them or b) switch us to the beta (yikes! i'm not sure i want that) let me know.

now, the real reason for my posting. i have finally had enough with inactivity and the poor eating choices and the generally unhealthy lifestyle i've been living. i drink as much as a i feel like when i feel like it (which fortunately isn't that much or that often) and for the most part i eat whatever i want when i want to (which is a lot and often). i have exercised once in about three months and yet i still feel ok with taking the elevator up one flight rather than walking the stairs. i am sick of my clothes not fitting and not feeling comfortable in anything but my pajamas. i hate how embarassed i feel when i look at the pictures of me at my friend's wedding a month ago. i hate it all.

i want to feel better about myself again. and i want to be healthy.

for right now it's still hard to control everything since i still don't have my own kitchen and fridge and since i can't run (stoopid plantar fasciitis, be damned) or afford to go to a gym. but as a start i have set the following goals for myself:

1. eat a healthy lunch every day: i bought thin sliced turkey breast and whole grain bread for sandwiches and special k bars for a lunch. i think i'm going to need to supplement with some yogurt or other type of snack to make a more well rounded meal in the future. but for now i will probably bring something i already have here where i am staying like a pack of oatmeal or a small can of microwaveable soup.
2. work on portion control: in the end i want to eat smaller meals because right now when i eat i feel sick by the time i'm done. i know that i don't need to eat until i'm stuffed to actually be full but i am somehow pre-programmed to think that i will not feel full unless i eat a certain amount. i have eaten smaller meals before when the portions were out of my control and have been surprised to find that a little while after the meal is over i am actually not starving. what i plan to do this week is take my lunch which has three components and spread that out over the course of the day. i am hoping that this will teach me to not feel stressed when i have only eaten a sandwich because i will know that i can have a snack in an hour or so. i don't know if this will work but i think that overall it might help me eat less during the day and reprogram my brain about what constitutes a meal.
3. no eating out all week (except the two nights when my friend is in town*): this is little but it's been hard for me because of not having my own kitchen to cook in. but along with the lunch food i bought some other food that i will use for dinner this week. i didn't pay a lot of attention to what i bought being healthy (it's prepackaged) but i do know that it's way better than take out pizza or other stuff
4. work out twice: i talked to my sister-in-law over the weekend about using her gym in her apartment complex where i can find low-impact things to do like ride the bike. she wants to work out too and we both think we need a work out buddy. so right now we have planned together Tuesday and Thursday night to exercise. i am hoping eventually this will turn into more days a week and that i won't always need a buddy to go do something but it's a good start i think.
5. report my progress here at least twice: in addition to emotional support this blog was supposed to be a way for me to have accountability. i haven't been good about updating my goals (even when i did have them) but i want to be better about that. i think i can reasonably expect to post here again on wed and friday to update about the workouts and discuss the eating then too.

so, that's my plan. unlike with my other areas in my life i feel semi-hopeful about this. we'll see how it goes.....


* i am giving myself those two nights as "freebies" because i think it's too much to be really good, all day, every day, for the whole week, right away. don't you?